Just Another Day in Paradise

About 1pm my day started to spiral downward: I pulled in to the driveway and realized I had an WIC Appointment at 1:30. The kids still hadn't eaten lunch and Max was on the verge of sleeping in his car seat. Ohp, scratch that. He WAS sleeping in his car seat. So, I woke Max up, and got the kids both something to scarf down before heading out... They both surprised me and wanted seconds, so I hurried and got them more as I was making myself a sandwich and watched as the time came and went for a timely travel to our appt. Oh well, 8 minutes late was better than 10, right? So we got in and settled, and a nurse was drawing Max's blood... Maddie was on the other side of the room. I hear a loud smack and look over at my sweet daughter laying face down on the ground, shaking in regular intervals; NOT A GOOD SIGN (and she was pale with blue lips). So, naturally I freak out, scoop her up, calm the voices in my head thinking the worst, and rush her over to the pediatricians office in a panic. I desperately needed to talk to someone; Lars, my mom, anyone... but my phone was nowhere in sight. Yup, I probably lost it. GREAT. I frantically search for it for 5 minutes, maybe less, and gave up thinking I just needed to get in to see a nurse. Well, they were TOO busy. Referred me to the ER, but said she might just be fine and monitor her (if she does it again, sleeps a lot, or anything else: TAKE HER TO THE ER IMMEDIATELY). I felt okay that she was speaking better and her color was back and decided to watch her closely. I then remembered it was around her age when I started passing out and having unexplained "episodes" of seizing (something doctors do not want you to have on a Driver's License, if you ever want to sit behind the wheel when you turn 16). Well, thankfully, they never found anything wrong with me and things all stopped around adolescence. So, I guess we'll watch this one closely and see where things go... but talk about giving your mother a heart attack! I just can't handle these things; not to my babies. I'm sure she will be okay... if it happens again we certainly will take her straight to the ER, and try to figure it out. Lars thinks she's just a little lightheaded when she sees blood (just like him) and maybe passed out because of the blood.

But we're all doing well now. I'm just taking a deep breath and getting through this this lovely day... despite the fact that I screwed up dinner with my anxiety and Max decided to have 2 generous servings of dinner tonight, one that he ended up regurgitating all over my front right before bed... Yeah, no prob... just another day at the Lambertsen's.

Yup, I Spoke in Sacrament Meeting

So, I'm pretty okay with speaking to the Young Women in church, but speaking in Sacrament meeting is a little out of my comfort zone. Well, today I spoke in Sacrament. Yup, I did. I quivered/trembled the entire time, but was told it was unapparent, thank goodness. My topic was a heavy one: The Atonement, but I really felt it went well. I spent many hours writing my talk, so if you feel compelled, read my handiwork:
Thanksgiving is a wonderful time of year; it gives us time to reflect on what we are thankful for. I am thankful for many things, but above all I am thankful for the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Without the Atonement we are unable to return to our Father in Heaven.

The Atonement literally means “at one moment.” But the Atonement did not happen in one single moment. It was a series of events, rather, that gradually built up to the most noble and amazing act ever performed.

It began in Gethsemane…

Matthew 26 states the beginning account of our Savior’s atonement: (36) [He] saith unto the disciples, Sit ye here while I go and pray yonder. And he took with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and began to be sorrowful and very heavy. Then saith he unto them, My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even unto death: tarry ye here, and watch with me. And he went a little further, and fell on his face and prayed…

Jesus had received all of the sins of the world; every transgression from Adam’s transgression on to future transgressions and even the last sin to take place on Earth. Not a single sin was omitted. Take a moment to ponder the burden that all sins would have on your soul. He surely felt profound grief, overpowering torture, indescribable anguish. All sense of humanity was lessened with such a burden on His back as He was placed below all things. As Jesus prayed, he wept. He pleaded with our Father “O my Father if it be possible let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will but as thou wilt”MATT 26:39

In an excerpt from The Life and Teachings of Jesus & His Apostles this overwhelming moment is described as such:

“It was not physical pain, not mental anguish alone, that caused Him to suffer such torture as to produce an extrusion of blood from every pore; but a spiritual agony of soul such as only God was capable of experiencing. No other man could have suffered so…” (page 173)

Sadly, this was not the end of the Atonement…

His disciples slept as he suffered, even after he asked for their support while He prayed, but they proved unable to control their want for sleep

Jesus was then betrayed

falsely accused

condemned

imprisoned

Stripped

Spit on

beaten with a whip that had shards of metal and jagged bone

Made fun of/ humiliated/ taunted

A crown of thorns was driven into His head

Soldiers pierced His hands with nails onto a crossbar and forced Jesus to carry this heavy cross to the spot of His execution

His body was then nailed to the cross also through His wrists and feet

He was in constant agony

He certainly must have experienced the consequences of a failing body, publicly, on the cross for all to see…

He was devoid of comfort

painfully thirsty, and given only a sip of vinegar to drink

Then, the worst part of all, Our Heavenly Father’s support was withdrawn. Jesus was to complete this portion of the Atonement by himself. I’m certain the words he said were held together with internal sobs as he said “My God, My God, why hast Thou forsaken me?”

Again from The Life and Teachings of Jesus & His Apostles we are reassured that

“His was to be the choice. His was to be the opportunity. His was to be the challenge to give His life voluntarily. With all of the Father’s support withdrawn, with the pains of Gethsemane recurring, our Savior was left unto himself in order that he alone might complete the atoning sacrifice and have “the glory of complete victory over the forces of sin and death.” (Talmage, Jesus the Christ, p.661.) His was to be the resignation by His own will to give up his own life, a ransom for many, that we through his blood, might be purified and sanctified until we reach a state where we again might enjoy the presence of our Father in heaven.”

All of this.

All of this for you & I.

All the torment that our Loving Brother suffered was to aid in our return to Him and Our Father.

He loves us that much.

Enough to take on that burden and all of the torture without complaining.

In a talk from Elder Wolfgang H. Paul titled Gratitude for the Atonement he relays a story of “a member as he went through the repentance process and discovered the healing process of the Atonement: “The time between transgressing and confessing was terrible. I constantly lived in the knowledge of the terrible thing I had done. I was in a state of deep darkness, depressive and lethargic, first hopeless and tortured by fears, however, never doubting the truth of the gospel and the saving power of the Atonement. I knew that for me there was only one way to get healed.

“To confess to my wife and my children what I had done was the most difficult thing that I ever did in life. Thereafter, the further way of repentance, to confess before my bishop and the stake president, was not so difficult. Finally, I could relieve myself of the burden which I had brought upon myself. I felt relieved with the excommunication and the resulting perspectives.

“What joy it was when I was permitted to be baptized and again could have the Holy Ghost with me. Finally, the promise of the Atonement was fulfilled in the clearest and most beautiful way when my blessings were restored again.

“During the course of years, my wife and I experienced that the Atonement brings relief and healing not only to the sinner, but further than that, it has the power to heal and restore the victim as well. Of this I testify with deep gratitude.” end quote”

As President Joseph Fielding Smith observed: “One of the greatest sins, both in magnitude and extent… is the sin of ingratitude. When we violate a commandment, no matter how small and insignificant we may think it to be, we show our ingratitude to our Redeemer. It is impossible for us to comprehend the extent of his suffering when he carried the burden of the sins of the whole world, a punishment so severe that we are informed that blood came from the pores of his body, and this was before he was taken to the cross. The punishment of physical pain coming from the nails driven in his hands and feet, was not the greatest of his suffering, excruciating as that surely was. The greater suffering was the spiritual and mental anguish coming from the load of our transgressions which he carried. If we understood the extent of that suffering and his suffering on the cross, surely none of us would willfully be guilty of sin. We would not give way to the temptations, the gratification of unholy appetites and desires and Satan could find no place in our hearts. As it is, whenever we sin, we show our ingratitude and disregard of the suffering of the Son of God by and through which we shall rise from the dead and live forever. If we really understood and could feel even to a small degree, the love and gracious willingness on the part of Jesus Christ to suffer for our sins we would be willing to repent of all our transgressions and serve him.”

In D&C 19 we read “For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent; but if they would not repent they must suffer even as I; which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit-and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink- Nevertheless, glory be to the Father, and I partook and finished my preparations unto the children of men.”

I am thankful for [insert testimony here]…

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Max's LOW-KEY Birthday

Maddie with her Grandpa

Max and Grandma

Max liked sitting in the box after opening his present!

Yup, he can fit it all!

He got a new playmat and cars

Max even opened his own present from Grandma and Grandpa Harper!

And taste tested the presents!

Yup it's true. I have a double standard over here. For some reason I have this idea that everything for Maddie has to be huge and over the top, like super gaudy or prissy because she's a girl. But when it comes to Max, things are pretty low-key and stress free, low maintenance and chill because he's a little boy. For Max's birthday we opened a few presents (everything cars and ALL boy) and did cupcakes with my parents over lunch. Nothing big. It was just perfect for him. The cupcakes were a hit, he tried to shove the whole thing in his mouth (he must get that from his mother---err, Father) here's that video. Not too much more than that. It was fun. We'll celebrate with Lars' family over Thanksgiving. The excitement was surely not the cakes or gifts for me, but it was the fact that his carseat could be turned to forward facing. Yeah, that's just the best present EVER!

One year ago....

My little guy bruised from the top of his head to his chin........One year ago my sweet little baby boy was born. His poor little head was bruised and swollen from my crappy crooked tailbone, and he spent a few nights in the NICU while I had a Spinal Headache and was dead to the world. It was the worst time of my life; I just wanted to take my little baby in my arms but I couldn't even be left alone with him because of my Epidural-gone-wrong... but my little baby was getting strong and healthy (as was I). When it was time to go home I was elated. My life had changed. 2 kids. 2 Fantastic little kids that I adore. The 20th of November was an amazing day... My little baby boy I painfully waited 18 months to conceive was finally here! It was one of the best days of my life. I am happy to be celebrating my beautiful baby boy today... my little monster... my little chubby cheek, fat-footed buddy... I am so lucky to have you, Max and all of our trials were worth it!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BUD!

Weather in Logan today:
30 degrees and Sunny.

This little guy:103.3 degrees and Gloomy. (picture NOT from today)
Double Ear Infection.
Huge Shot at the doctors.
Tired.
Irritable.
Not sleeping.

His mom: not able to accomplish anything holding a fussy baby...tired, irritable, and not sleeping.

48 hours until the meds kick in. Count down... 47.5 hours to go.

First Cookie

Hooray For COOKIES!

Yes, I've deprived my poor son long enough... So we introduced
the Chocolate Chip Cookie.

It was just about the cutest thing ever, until this:

Maddie Fed Max Dinner!

Accomplishment

So in my church we are organized according to age. Kids under 12 go to Primary. Teens 12-18 go to Young Men's or Young Women's, and 18+ go to Relief Society (for the women) or Elder's Quorum (for the men). Most of us have callings (a title with responsibilities) in the Church. My calling is in Young Women's. In this age group we are trying to prepare young girls to become leaders in their lives, have a testimony of their beliefs, be temple worthy (where we are able to go and be sealed/tied to our families for eternity) and become prepared to be a wife and mother. We do a program that helps the girls strengthen their self worth called Personal Progress. In this program, there are values that have experiences and projects to be completed. The girls have 6 years to complete the program.
Because I teach and work closely with the Young Women, I have also been working toward completing the program. I did a lot of studying the Bible and Book of Mormon, did a variety of projects like juicing grapes and learning to can it, painting a picture for Madelyn, and implementing a Summer-long fitness program. I learned of the sacred nature of Motherhood and the importance of being a good mother, among many other things.
Well, it's been 2 years of my commitment to the program, and I have exciting news to report:

Last week I completed my Personal Progress!

I had an interview with the bishop last week and today received recognition in Sacrament, a meeting where all of the members of our ward are together, young and old. The accomplishment is recognized by an award AND a beautiful necklace of the temple. I chose the silver pendant. I was so nervous, and felt a bit silly being 26 years old receiving an award that most 12-18 yr olds are working on, but it was a great experience. I am happy to show the Young Women I believe in the program, and have a testimony of the ways that the program can strengthen lives. It has helped me to accomplish great things. I have strengthened my testimony of Jesus Christ, and strengthened myself as a mother. I know that being a mother is the most important calling that I have on this Earth and I am happy to have learned how to be better. I am thankful for the opportunity I had to complete the program and am excited to start over again (we are encouraged to start over once we complete the program [indefinitely]). One lady I know is working on completing for the 4th time! I am excited and proud of myself for making a goal and accomplishing it.

Halloween

Well, thankfully, Halloween has come and gone. Now we can get on to more exciting holidays; such as Christmas! Friday night we went to a carnival put on by the church and had some fun. We spent our Halloween Trick-or-Treating at the Main Street Businesses, eating our traditional meal-in-a-pumpkin, toasting pumpkin seeds, and (of course) GORGING on candy. Max had his very first sucker and LOVED it. I think he drooled all the way down to his belly button... Maddie was Miss Piggy, a costume I borrowed from my lovely friend Jenny, and Max was a Mormon Missionary. It was fun. Maddie's costume had everyone talking. I don't think we passed a single family that didn't swoon at how cute she was! It was very fun for me... Well, here's the pictures you all want:



That night we had a photo shoot in Maddie's new PJs. Yes, they are boy PJs because she only wears them to bed, so I figure once she grows out of them we'll pass them on to Max... She's a Ham.



Oh, and you know you live in the GHETTO when.... you put a sign on your door with magnets saying "NO CANDY" and the little punks steal the magnets off your door! HAHA.

On Sunday we had a "DESTROY Mommy's room in 30 seconds flat" moment. And you know Maddie has eaten too much candy when we have cookies after dinner and she throws hers in the garbage! Ha. Sugar Overload. Anyway, that's the weekend for ya!